I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
MIDGETS
????
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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