I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
