we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
