We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
