I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
