escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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