I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
