Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
should my penis look like a turkey
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
