i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
