She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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