I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
