We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
