So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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