it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
