dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize
