Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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