Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she told me i tasted like america
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
