Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
