...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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