Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
