She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
