You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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