I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
