We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
