u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
