if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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