Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
