k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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