Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
