Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
