it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
