i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
