They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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