So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
