ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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