hell yes lets make some ravioli
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
