So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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