I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
