Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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