I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
