So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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