Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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