people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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