hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
