tell your sister to shave her snatch
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
