Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
