how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
