that's an acceptable place to lick
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
