good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
