Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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