Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
