Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
