Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
