Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
